Old post! Better late than never!
Last year at this time we were up early with the whole family in town and it was our first major holiday with Gracie. This was her first Easter and she was 2 months old. I woke up pretty sick but insisted I get Gracie dressed up in her best Easter outfit. No matter how I felt I always pushed through because I didn’t want to miss out on anything with Grace.
It was chilly so I opted to wear my favorite hat to church. I walked into the church with three things on my mind. Is it okay to have a hat on in church? Am I going to get sick during this mass? Will Grace decide this is the moment she will become a crier? I decided to leave all of those thoughts at the door because they were just worries and I wanted to have a good day with my family and what would be, would be. After all, in my opinion it was pretty spectacular I made it to mass in the first place. I only had two episodes of getting sick during chemotherapy. The first episode was two days before Easter when I insisted on getting Ryan a tie at Macy’s to match our outfits. Ryan, Grace, and I went out shopping to find one and I could not believe what a task it was! I remember running to the trash can outside the door then coming back in and saying “I can do it, I can do it.”. Then running upstairs to the bathroom where I spent quite a bit of time. I wasn’t sure I could leave the bathroom so I sat on a couch near the exit door and this wonderful woman came and sat with me and asked if I was okay. She knew I had cancer, it was obvious with my lack of hair and newly ensued nausea. She said she had been there and it would pass. She was so sweet and just what I needed at that moment. It’s funny how people just drop in at the right moment sometimes. My other bout of getting sick with chemotherapy was toward the end of my treatments and it was long lasting. I will discuss that in another post. All in all I Easter was a success and I was just fine. I had a wonderful day with my family celebrating and no sickness. They all made wonderful toasts to my health and in a little sisterly fun I actually made my sister sick! HAHA! It was so funny. I put some slimy fish scales on her arm and she had to leave the table. (Not nice I know, but really funny. I know she can kick my butt these days so I might as well take advantage while I’m sick because I know she won’t retaliate! Man, another thing I can thank cancer for!!!!)
And this year, I opted to wear the same outfit I did last year. I never do that for Easter. I am always so excited to go get a new Easter dress and a matching tie for Ryan. I guess in some way I wanted to not forget last year. It is so shocking to me how different I feel this year, how I have recovered, how something seemingly so, so big can be a memory so quickly. How has it been almost a year since this has all happened? I cannot wrap my mind around the magnitude of last year and it’s impact on every facet of my life. It was a quiet Easter dinner this year with Ryan, Gracie, my mom and I. Proudly I can say we continued our healthy family journey and the four of us took a very long walk before dinner.